British Invasion- “Went missing”

 

Went missing: This passive-aggressive British term is, perhaps, the current champion offender in terms of tragic overuse by American media. Why is “went” or “gone” better than “is” when combined with “missing?” And what’s wrong with “lost” or “fled” or “disappeared” or “vanished?” I encounter some conjugation of “went missing” almost every single day in U.S. media sources. Let’s hope that the term will soon be reported absent, evaporate, be mislaid, or go astray. It won’t be missed.

 

NB:

The British Invasion is when– unbidden and unneeded– explicitly British words and expressions infiltrate American public commentary and journalism. This is alarming because the resultant multiplier effect could cause an epidemic that infects ordinary Americans’ healthy vocabulary.

Although I strive for tolerance, for the purpose of this series of posts, my fundamental assumption is that American is better than, not just different from, British. This is– mainly, if not exclusively– because American is newer and made improvements to its dialect of origin. I do, however, confess to frequent unfair extrapolation from this arguably reasonable approach to almost wholesale– and borderline unfair– derision of British compared to American. I beg the reader’s forbearance for having fun with such a solemn topic. I’m just taking the mickey– or whatever it is Americans say.

A Fistless of Dollars

Not too long ago, I rode a bus to the middle of town. When I reached my stop, a woman—possibly homeless, based on appearance and demeanor—slowly climbed down the steps ahead of me. As she descended, unsteadily, a bag swinging from her forearm, numerous coins escaped her grip and scattered over a fairly large semicircle on the sidewalk.

Reaching the curb immediately after her, I started chasing and gathering her coins, hoping to contain their rolling radii. They were well launched, so this took longer than expected. As I approached the woman to reunite her with the coins, I noticed that she hadn’t moved to pick up a single coin herself. I confess to a small spike of annoyance.

The woman extended her hand to receive the coins. She didn’t have any fingers. She thanked me.